Policies regarding the existence and free expression of the Big Drum in the Sky Religion
Statement of Existence of the Big Drum in the Sky Religion
Wherein is stated that there shall and/or shall not exist the Big Drum in the Sky Religion
The Big Drum in the Sky Religion shall be a thing which has and/or has not some form of existence and shall be called “The Big Drum in the Sky Religion”.
Article I: Differentiation of the Big Drum in the Sky Religion from the Big Drum in the Sky Religion
Wherein is stated that the entity bearing the name “The Big Drum in the Sky Religion” is different from, but not solely independent of the entity which is called “The Big Drum in the Sky Religion” and which is a band
The Big Drum in the Sky Religion shall include, but not be limited to, a group consisting of Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, and any number of other individuals, from zero (0) to infinity (∞), gathered together for the purpose of creating art-in-time or sound, which may or may not be called “music”, trading under the name “The Big Drum in the Sky Religion”, aka “Big Drum Sky Religion”, the proper abbreviation for which shall be “B.D.S.R.”, though “BxDxSxRx” may be accepted, hereafter referred to as “B.D.S.R.” which shall serve the greater goals of The Big Drum in the Sky Religion, which is a metaphysical entity of no known proportion and no fixed address, said group consisting of Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, and any number of other individuals, from zero (0) to infinity (∞), gathered together for the purpose of creating art-in-time or sound, which may or may not be called “music”, trading under the name “The Big Drum in the Sky Religion”, aka “Big Drum Sky Religion”, the proper abbreviation for which shall be “B.D.S.R.”, though “BxDxSxRx” may be accepted, hereafter referred to as “B.D.S.R.” is to be understood to be a “band”, and, as such, shall be a subsidiary of The Big Drum in the Sky Religion, the spiritual concept, serving the goals of same, but not acting independently from and/or of The Big Drum in the Sky Religion, the mystical reality, of whom The Big Drum in the Sky Religion, or “B.D.S.R.”, the band, is a microcosm.
Article II: Recording and/or Performing
Wherein are recognized at least two forms which the band referred to as BxDxSxRx may act
B.D.S.R., the band, may exist as a recording entity and/or as a performing combo and/or some combination of the aforementioned forms.
Article III: Theocratic Dictatorship
Wherein is established that BDSR ain’t a democracy an’ ain’t nobody got time to listen to your bullshit
B.D.S.R. shall be organized and administered as a theocracy under the benevolent dictatorship of Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, known familiarly as “browny”, the founder of the Big Drum in the Sky Religion, recipient of the inspiration, scurvy dog and sole constant of the band. In all cases, final decision-making power for the band, B.D.S.R., shall be held by Brown Hat; creative direction of B.D.S.R. shall be determined by Brown Hat; and the form taken by B.D.S.R. will fall under the province of the Espresso Shaman, Brown Hat.
Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, shall always be a member of B.D.S.R. and there shall be no B.D.S.R. which does include Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman. Any and all other participants in B.D.S.R., human, animal and/or spirit, hereafter referred to as “participants”, shall be subject, at all times that they are participating in B.D.S.R., to the persecution of Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, who shall have sole power to determine whether they shall participate in B.D.S.R. and shall participate only at the pleasure of Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, who shall exercise final authority over B.D.S.R. and no one, with the possible exception of the Almighty, shall have power to exercise authority over the Espresso Sham, Brown Hat.
Article IV: Pursuant to Pursuit of Spirituality
Be ye active in thy quest to attain unto the Mercy of the Lord, which is thy God, and/or thine Goddess, and/if any/or thine pantheon of thy own making and/or thine own choosing; and be zealous therefore in doing that which is righteous in the Eyes of thy Lord, thy God, which is thy God
Any and/or all participants in B.D.S.R., up to and including the Espresso Shaman, Brown Hat, shall, during any and/or all times that they are participating, at the pleasure of Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, pursue some form of spirituality, whether of known and or unknown form, orthodox, paradox or some indefinable hodge-podge of scattered and unrelated bits cherry-picked from a variety of different faith traditions with some made-up shit tossed in, which is the preferred pollen path of the Espresso Shaman, Brown Hat, aka “Browny”. It is the revealed truth of The Big Drum in the Sky Religion that all religions are valid and true, as metaphor, and all are and ever shall be recognized by The Big Drum in the Sky Religion as possible forms of communing with that which cannot be conceived due to its eternity and infinity, which may be referred to as “Brahma”, “God”, “Wakan Tanka” and/or whatever ya wanna, and in order to have a relationship with, any and/or all participants in The Big Drum in the Sky Religion shall pursue some form of spirituality, whether of any pre-established form of such and such and/or of their own invention. (Atheism, humanism and scientology are not forms of spirituality.)
Article V: Masks and Fake Names
Wherewithal, for the reasons defined, participants shall make every effort, stipulated herein, respecting their “government names” and indentifying facial features to conceal same for the prescribed duration of the times and events delineated herewith
In order to maintain the privacy of Brown Hat, the Espresso Sham, and any other participants who shall participate in B.D.S.R.; to protect any and/or all participants who shall participate at the pleasure and under the leadership of the Espresso Shaman, Brown Hat, from the horrors of ego-inflation and notoriety, all participants in B.D.S.R. shall adopt and use noms de guerre, such to be used whenever the participants are participanting, whether in a performance capacity and/or on any form of written and or recorded data-storage and retrieval medium. In order to achieve the same goals and also to facilitate the transforming of the base and individual character of the individual who participates in B.D.S.R. into an individual character of B.D.S.R., whenever the band, B.D.S.R. shall appear as a performing entity, i.e. at a performance, and/or in any event(s) wherein participants in B.D.S.R. are being photographed as participants in B.D.S.R., said participants in B.D.S.R. shall wear masks, face-paint and/or some sort of something which shall obscure the face(s) of such participants as shall participate in B.D.S.R. Masks et al. shall cover the face(s) of participants in B.D.S.R. to the point of making them unrecognizable by any and/or all forms of facial recognition technology, to include their own mother(s). Final determination as the acceptability of masks and/or facial obscuration shall be subject to the judgment of Browny. Masks and/or other forms of obscuring the face may be utilized during “closed” recording sessions, i.e. instances in which B.D.S.R. is functioning in its capacity as a band, but is not performing at a performance, or not, as the individual participant deems best suited to their individuality, UNLESS the Espresso Sham, Brown Hat delivers a ruling mandating the mandatory wearing of a mask and/or some other apparatus to obscure the face(s) of those participants participating.
Subject to the usage of noms de guerre: exceptions may and/or may not be made in the case(s) of individuals who perform services for B.D.S.R., but who are not definitely participants in B.D.S.R., cf: producers, visual artists, sound engineers, costumers, taxidermists, metaphysicians, &c., determination of the requirement to use a nom de guerre being determined by Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman.)
Addendum: In regards to the wearing of some form of mask and/or face paint, which shall remain required as per above, any other article of clothing may be regarded as optional by any and/or all participants in BDSR, including, but not limited to, Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, notwithstanding laws or local custom, whether in the event of a performance, closed recording session, photography shoot or just hanging out.
Article VI: Rule Breakage
Acknowledgement of Browny’s absolute authority and ability to weasel out of his own Articles on the off chance that he decides so to weasel
The power and/or authority to alter and/or violate any and/or all rules included in the Articles of Faith, or otherwise understood to be in existence, whether included in the Articles of Faith, shall reside within the power and authority of the Espresso Shaman, Brown Hat, aka “browny”.
Article VII: Alcohol and Drugs
Go be high somewhere else
B.D.S.R. recognizes the importance and allure of alcohol and/or other recreational chemicals and has no desire to interfere with the recreational chemical consumption of her participants. It is therefore determined that any and/or all participants in B.D.S.R. shall be excused from participating in B.D.S.R. when and while they are enjoying alcohol and/or other recreational chemicals, whether they wish it or not.
Article VIII: Money
Wherein are bandied about the nickels and dimes that have trickled into BDSR’s coffers and the fantasy indulged that we will someday have some reason to discuss the distribution of the big money that rolls in
In the event that moneys shall be received by B.D.S.R., said funds shall be delivered unto the person of the Espresso Shaman, Brown Hat, who shall divvy up the loot according to whatever whim and/or wild hair tickles his fancy at the moment, but some possible derivation of the following may be foremost in his mind at the moment of same and said divination: to wit, and respecting the most likely foreseeable potentialities under which B.D.S.R. may most likely receive funds:
- Payment rendered for performance: Moneys received shall be divided equally amongst participants who performed at the performance, with special consideration considered in the event that one or some participants drove their own vehicles some respectable distance – this most applicable to the event of performances which occur outside the municipality of Harrisonburg, VA, USA, which is, at this writing, the “home town” of B.D.S.R., whether or not any and/or all participants of B.D.S.R., including, but not limited to Brown Hat, aka “Browny”, the Espresso Shaman, actually reside or have established legal residency in same municipality and/or the immediate regional surroundings thereof, that is to say, “outta town shows”, but NOT those performances which take place within the municipality of Harrisonburg, VA, USA, to wit: “local shows”, special dispensation of accrued funds, i.e. “our take” may be subjected to the removal from the total of the amount spent by the drivers of vehicles used for the portage of personnel and/or materiel to the site of the performance, to wit: “gas money”, in order that same shall and/or may be recompensated to the aforementioned driver(s), and that this action shall precede and take precedence over the equal divination of “the loot” which shall then proceed according to the aforementioned general policy of equal divvy.
- Payment for recordings: until, up to and including the time of this writing, all funds which have been accrued by B.D.S.R. as returns on exchanges made in the form(s) of recordings of the “music” of B.D.S.R., which have accrued to B.D.S.R., NOT including funds which have been generated by the sale of the “music” of B.D.S.R., but which have been retained, under tacit agreement and/or approval of Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, acting on behalf of B.D.S.R. according to the right(s) and power(s) ascribed to him by Article III, and/or without such approval and/or agreement, i.e. “they ripped us off”, all such funds as have been generated have become the sole province and property of Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, even including those circumstances in which participants other than Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, participated in the production of those recordings from which sales of them the funds were so accrued, the funds accrued became the property and province of the Espresso Shaman, Brown Hat, aka “browny”, the logic and justification behind such distribution of funds so accrued being that an overwhelming amount of work has been done, without recompensation for hours and efforts made, by Brown Hat, the Espresso Sham, which hours and efforts have, in toto, in situ, and in lingua franca, so laid the ground and created the circumstances in which present and future funds may be generated, and for which continuing efforts, the likelihood of Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, ever being actually compensated, shall be understood to be vanishingly small, understanding also that in the event that a recording was, is, and/or shall be, recorded, with the participation of some participant other than Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, such recording was made at a performance, for the performance of which, the participant(s) are/were compensated according to the relevant passages of the paragraph preceding, in which was stipulated the divination of funds accrued for performance(s); understanding also that in the case(s) of recordings being made in which participants participated who were/are NOT Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, such participants participated knowingly and that some form of agreement took place at the time of the recording, the responsibility for which agreement understood to be the responsibility of the participant who was/is NOT Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, who had other shit to think about at the time of the recording of the recording, wherein which, all participants agreed to some form of future divination of future funds, which information was agreed upon, and participants thus agreed, records of said agreements and the recording, storage and retrieval of such records, being the responsibility of the affected participating parties, and if not, well, ya shoulda thought of that.
Payment for recordings made, for which recording(s) participants participate who are NOT Brown Hat, the Espresso Sham, which shall be made in the future, which “future” being defined as events which may have occurred and/or which are yet to occur AFTER the writing of THIS DOCUMENT, in chronological time, which is a construct, but which is, nevertheless, recognized by B.D.S.R. as among the forms of sensibility and among the governing principals of life in the zone of middle dimensions, such future recordings shall be subject to the same stipulations herein stipulated and shall be embarked upon in good faith, with the understanding that the stipulations herein stipulated have been understood; UNLESS and EXCEPT, such case(s) shall come about in which case(s), conditions shall be so altered as to render the aforementioned stipulations unwieldy and/or inapplicable, in which case(s), some OTHER form of agreement shall be agreed upon which shall be the agreement by which such future payment(s) for such future participation(s) in such future recording(s) shall be render(ed) to such future participant(s) as shall participate(s) in such future event(s). Such agreements shall be made in real time, on a case-by-case basis, and shall be entered into willingly and with the consent of those entering into them; and shall be binding according to the binding(s) of which they are entered into at such time as into which they are entered. Thus, it shall be understood that that which will be was, but will be again, and shall be dealt with at such time as dealing with it shall become relevant.
Recognizing the future as the vague and unknowable unknown that it is and will, in all likelihood, be, it shall be understood that future events may unfold which may make future agreements desired, which future events are either: a) not within the preview of Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, and/or of other oracles which may present themself(s) to same; b) are in such purview, but the revelation of which is not deemed appropriate and/or desirable by same at THIS time; whether such events shall be in the form of performance(s), recording(s) and/or other action(s), which shall, or not, cause funds to accrue to B.D.S.R., which funds shall require divination, such events shall be dealt with at such time(s) as they occur.
Article IX: Politics
Wherewithal, it is made plain that BDSR is a gaggle of Leftist radicals
Regarding activities of the sub-category of The Big Drum in the Sky Religion which has been specified in Article I and so named The Big Drum in the Sky Religion, aka B.D.S.R., hereafter referred to as BDSR, as such activities shall pertain to the realm of social injustice and unrest, forthwith referred to as “politics” and forms thereof, it shall be acknowledged that, reflecting the inclinations and leanings of Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, who is an unabashed and bleeding-heart liberal with socialist proclivities and has publicly made claims and/or taken positions related to the promotion and promulgation of radical actions and positions related to and including, but not limited to, environmentalism, feminism (most notably that of the intersectional variety), LGBTQ rights, single-payer healthcare, any action which has any chance of making any dent in the “American disease” of mass shootings &c., i.e. any causes which can be termed in the vernacular common to the time of the writing of this document, to be in the political sphere of the “Left”, such positions having been taken and retaken by Brown Hat, the Espresso Sham under the influence of Divine Guidance and in emulation of the great teachers of the various and sundry great religions and/or faith traditions to which Brown Hat, the Espresso, ascribes and loosely adheres, them being the highest form provided both by the sages of the ages and them through the intervention of the Absolute, acting voluntarily in this, the zone of middle dimensions, for the benefit of we, their personifications in scattered form(s), recognizing such as the proper behaviors, fetishes and political positions to be taken by them as what wants to be both Holy and Righteous in the Eyes of God(s), it shall be understood that BDSR is, in itself, as subject to the leadership and administration of Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, a political entity, inasmuch as a band can be a political entity, which it can be, and that, as such, BDSR is a political band. It follows from such that the form(s) of political activit(y/ies) engaged in by BDSR, as a band, shall be leftist in intent and actual practice, whether same take the forms of sensibility or merely those of well wishes, hopes and prayers offered in the best of intentions, for those better suited and so inclined to do more than pray.
(Stipulation: Any and/or all pledges of allegiance, offers of aid, immaterial or materiel, and/or participation in the actions of affinity groups and/or cells engaging in forms of property destruction, bombings and/or any other actions which are in gross, flagrant and blatant defiance of the laws of these United States, whether such same be made by Brown Hat, the Espresso Shaman, other participant(s) and/or agents thereof, such same shall be understood to be FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.)
Article X: Simple enough?
Recognizing possible potential extenuating circumstances beyond one’s control and being not unwilling to consider reconsidering what must needs be otherwise an ironclad ruling, herewith be it stated the easiest way to get fired from this band
Didn’t make it to a show on time? You’re outta the band.
Brown Hat the Espresso Shaman
The pun is always intended.